The useful part is which one fits you, because these options are built for different things: some for dating, one for community, and one is a general app that welcomes kink without being built around it. We run BDSM Addicts, so read the rest with that in mind. Where another option does something better, we say so.
Why a kink dating app saves you the awkward conversation
On a general dating app your interests stay invisible until you raise them, so every promising match carries the same question: when do I mention it? Too early and you look pushy; too late and you have spent a week on someone who was never a fit. A BDSM dating app removes that moment. Everyone there has already said yes to the subject, so the first conversation can be about roles, limits and chemistry, rather than whether the other person is open to it at all.
The BDSM dating apps, compared
| Option | What it is | App or website | Free to join | Verification | Best for |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| BDSM Addicts | Dating site for BDSM, kink and fetish | Works in your phone browser and installs to your home screen; iOS and Android apps in selected markets | Yes: profile, browsing, daily matches and limited daily messages | Free ID verification with a badge; live video check | Meeting a partner with roles and limits up front, in the USA, UK, Canada and Australia |
| KinkD | Kink dating app | iOS and Android | Free download; one new private chat a day free; premium subscription | Not set out on its store pages | Discreet, swipe-style browsing with hidden photos |
| FET | Kink and BDSM dating app with community features | iOS and Android | Free to download and use; optional subscription | Profile verification | Dating plus chat rooms, forums and events in one app |
| ALT.com | Long-running BDSM, fetish and kink dating website | Website | Free sign-up; some services need a paid subscription | States it does not run criminal background checks | People who prefer a website with a broad kink scope |
| Feeld | Mainstream app for open-minded dating | iOS and Android | Free download; optional Majestic membership | Biometric identity verification | Kink as one part of a wider search, including couples |
| FetLife | Kink community and social network, "not a dating site" in its own words | Website; no App Store app | Yes, "99.9% free" by its own description | Not a dating platform | Groups, writing, munches and events |
Checked October 2026 on each platform's own website and its App Store or Google Play listing. Our comparisons hub goes deeper on individual platforms.
BDSM Addicts
BDSM Addicts is a dating site built only for BDSM, kink and fetish. Profiles are made of the things a partner needs to know: your role (dominant, submissive or switch), your interests and your limits. Search and daily matches run on role, interest and location. It has over 11,000 members, most of them in the USA, with the UK next, then Australia and Canada.
Joining, browsing, daily matches and a limited number of daily messages are free, and you can always reply to paying members. VIP adds unrestricted messaging, photo sharing and advanced search; VIP+ adds priority placement. ID verification is free and puts a badge on your profile, with a live video check as an alternative to sharing documents. Current prices are on the pricing page.
KinkD
KinkD is an app built for kink dating, on the App Store and Google Play, with over a million downloads on Android. It calls itself an alternative lifestyle and relationship app for singles, and its signature feature is a masquerade mode in which photos stay hidden behind a mask until you choose to reveal them, which suits people who want discretion. The free version lets you start one private chat a day and talk freely with mutual matches; a premium subscription lifts the limits.
FET
FET combines dating with community: a newsfeed, forums, live chat rooms around the clock, local events and a BDSM test whose result you can show on your profile. It is free to download and use, with an optional subscription (£17.99 a month on the UK App Store in October 2026). Profile verification and message filters are built in. If you want a social side and dating in one app, FET is the closest thing to a community with matching added.
ALT.com
ALT.com is a long-running BDSM, fetish and kink dating website, run by a US company within the FriendFinder Networks group. Sign-up is free and some services need a paid subscription. It is a website rather than an app, and its own footer states that it does not run criminal background checks on members, so the usual screening habits matter.
Feeld
Feeld is a mainstream dating app for open-minded people: singles, couples and non-monogamous groups, with kink as one interest among many. Its glossary of desires includes dominant, submissive, domme and switch, so you can say what you are into, and it uses biometric identity verification. It is free to download, with an optional paid Majestic membership. The trade-off is focus: plenty of people on Feeld are there for open relationships or curiosity rather than BDSM, so expect to filter. Our full BDSM Addicts vs Feeld comparison sets out the differences.
FetLife: a community, not a dating app
FetLife is the biggest kink community online, with more than 13 million members by its own homepage count and tens of thousands of upcoming events listed. Its homepage says plainly that it is not a dating site. It is for groups, writing, munches and events, and you use it in a browser: it has no app on the App Store. Messaging members there as if it were a dating app is the quickest way to be ignored. Use it for community, and a dating app for dating. More in BDSM Addicts vs FetLife.
What happened to Whiplr?
Whiplr still turns up in older round-ups of kink apps. It no longer appears on the App Store, and its web address now redirects to an unrelated review site, so it is not in the table.
Find the one that fits you
- You want a partner, with roles and limits understood from the first message: BDSM Addicts, especially in the USA, UK, Canada or Australia.
- You want discretion and a swipe-style app: KinkD.
- You want community and dating in the same app: FET.
- You prefer a website with a broad kink scope: ALT.com.
- Kink is one part of a wider, open-minded search: Feeld.
- You want munches, events and friends in the scene: FetLife, alongside a dating app.
Whichever you pick, join the free tier of one or two and see who is active near you before paying for anything. Ten minutes on a free profile tells you more than any ranking.
Meet safely, whichever app you choose
The tools differ from app to app; the habits do not. Talk about limits, safe words and aftercare before you meet, and treat anyone who rushes or brushes off that conversation as a no. Verify each other where the app allows it. Keep chatting on the app until you trust someone, because pressure to move to WhatsApp or Telegram early is a common warning sign. Meet in public first, tell a friend where you are going, negotiate while sober, and never send money or gift cards to someone you have not met. Our safety page and BDSM dating guide go into more detail.
The short verdict
There is a dating app for BDSM, and more than one. If you want a partner who understands your role and limits from the first message, a dedicated dating app beats a general one. FetLife is excellent for community but is not built for dating, and Feeld suits kink as part of a broader search. If you are in the USA, UK, Canada or Australia and want dating with consent culture as the house style, start with a free BDSM Addicts profile and see who is near you.
Frequently asked questions
Is there a dating app for BDSM?
Yes. BDSM Addicts, KinkD and FET are dating apps built for BDSM and kink, and ALT.com is a long-running BDSM dating website. Feeld is a mainstream open-minded app where kink is one interest among many. FetLife is the best-known kink platform, but it is a social network and says itself that it is not a dating site.
Is FetLife a dating app?
No. FetLife describes itself as a social network for the BDSM, fetish and kink community and states on its homepage that it is not a dating site. It is built for groups, writing, munches and events. Many people use FetLife for community and a dedicated dating app such as BDSM Addicts for dating.
Is there a free BDSM dating app?
All the main options are free to join. BDSM Addicts lets you build a profile, browse, get daily matches and send a limited number of messages each day for free, with optional VIP and VIP+. KinkD gives one new private chat a day free, FET is free to download and use with an optional subscription, and Feeld is free with an optional Majestic membership.
Is Feeld good for BDSM?
Feeld works well if kink is one part of a wider, open-minded search. You can list desires such as dominant, submissive, domme or switch, and it uses biometric identity verification. Because many members are there for open relationships or curiosity rather than BDSM, people who want a dedicated BDSM partner often find a kink dating app more direct.
Are BDSM dating apps safe?
They can be, if you use the safety tools and keep good habits. Choose an app with identity verification, keep conversations on the app until you trust someone, agree limits and a safe word before meeting, meet in public first, tell a friend where you are going, and never send money to someone you have not met.
What happened to Whiplr?
Whiplr still appears in older lists of kink apps, but as of October 2026 it is no longer on the App Store and its web address redirects to an unrelated review site. Current alternatives include BDSM Addicts, KinkD, FET and ALT.com.